


Cas's Epiphany

by tkdgrl223



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel realizes his feelings for Dean, Episode: s10e09 The Things We Left Behind, Fluff, M/M, POV Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 08:28:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3562961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tkdgrl223/pseuds/tkdgrl223
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has asked for a favor and Castiel immediately says "Of course." but why? Why was he so quick to respond?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cas's Epiphany

**Author's Note:**

> I know most of the fandom agrees that Cas is in love with Dean, and its Dean who's still working out his feelings. But I had a thought, what if Cas didn't realize why he's done so much for Dean until their burger date in 10x09.

"Of course." I say.

Why did I say that? Dean would say it's something friends do, but this uneasiness in my stomach is unsettling. I do not require substance because I am an angel, so I cannot be hungry. Though I do miss the taste of hamburgers. How human? I have been an angel again for almost a year and was only human for a blink of an eye in the broad scope of my existence.   
Maybe this uneasiness is some human side effect. I wish Hannah were still here, she would know what isn't angelic. Though I admire her courage. She returned home all so her vessel could return to her husband. Admiration yet another human emotion.   
I recall first feeling it not long after I met Dean. He was determined and I was so obedient. I can’t help but laugh at how different we are after just five years. I just wanted to do my job and keep him alive for Micael. He did not make it easy, trying everything in his power to prevent my fallen brother from ”wearing Sam to the prom" 

He has done everything for Sam. He has given his entire life protecting his family. What have I done? I've screwed up everything. I brought Leviathans to Earth. I abandoned Dean in Purgatory. But above all, I decimated Jimmy Novak's family. Amelia is off finding herself and Claire has ended up in child protective services. All because I was selfish and did not want leave this vessel. It is my fault and I must try to make it up to Claire. She deserves to be happy after all these years.   
I pray she can be as forgiving as Dean was after Purgatory. Yes it took him some time but he has always forgiven me. He has trusted me with so much more than I deserved at times. I cannot believe he still has faith in me. I have failed him so many times.   
Maybe that is why I feel this way? We both think we have failed everyone so many times. We both strive to do what is best for all, but our actions have so many unforeseen consequences. Oh what is the saying? Pheasants of a feather fly together. I'm not entirely sure what that means but it seems applicable.   
Though we could not be more different. I am an angel, a warrior of Heaven, while Dean is a human, branded by the Mark of Cain. Yet we have both fallen. I became human and he a demon. And I have done everything to keep him human. Dean Winchester, the righteous man, has deserved so much better than his life has allowed. I've done everything to help ease his suffering. He was busy fighting the Mark and hunting down Abbadon, he did not need to burden himself with my stolen grace. I cannot bear to see him suffer by my doing. I can't watch idly as he falls deeper under the influence of the Mark. I won't lose him again. 

I love him. 

I love him. I am in love with Dean Winchester. I will do anything he asks of me. I do not care if he does not love me in return, for nothing shall prevent me from loving him until I die. I love him. 

"Why are you smiling?" Dean asks in a serious tone.  
"Oh it's nothing." I duck my head to avoid Dean seeing my cheeks go red. Taking Sam’s advice I say, "I guess I'll just wait here then."  
"Wha- Never mind. Cas, you gotta take me out if I go dark side."   
I agree, to make him feel better, but I will do everything in my power to prevent that.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe this is the 19th fic I've posted on here.   
> I've been working on a multi-chapter Destiel fic, which is mostly done, I have to write the first chapter again. But I'm excited to make that my 20th fic and will hopefully be able to start posting it soon.


End file.
